Monday, July 12, 2010

Another Visit from the Black Cloud

So, I have been gone for over a week. Well, I haven't dropped the pursuit of truth and fairness in the world. I dislocated my knee. I didn't even know that was possible, but an encounter with wet tile and a door frame enlightened my perspective. This adds to the two years of shit (not including my 7 year prison term/grad-school) that have shaped my current personality.

Well, after I haul my narcotic pain killer loaded ass across campus tomorrow to submit my post-doc work, I will launch into yet another reason why, other than the education scam, that our generation is screwed. It involves a meth cook and why I spend $300 a month for the privilege of breathing, should be fun.

Friday, July 2, 2010

My thesis committee

Well, this is both a departure of my scam-blogging and an introduction to the world of the Ph.D. If you take the plunge of a Ph.D. you will have a thesis committee and an advisor of the said thesis. These people are supposed to be your guides into the world of academia, and they will be totally and completely fucked up.

The average Ph.D. could be dropped in the woods and be dead by nightfall, but they are truly interesting characters to be explored (because they are so fucked up, they border on cartoonish). Lets start with Dr. Peter (first name only). Well Peter is an organizational strategy professor who is an alum of my program, and he has fucking severe ADHD.

Not only is the ADHD bad enough, he fucking loves stimulants. From redbull to pepsi-max, he has them all in his office fridge. The bastard even has an espresso machine and a French-press coffee maker in his office. These are the legal stimulants he uses, keep reading it gets better.

Now Peter is a whopping conservative, I don't care, I am apolitical. But, we where at a conference together at the god damn University of California at Berkley. Yes, the 60s own Berkly, where he proudly proclaimed he was "more conservative than George W. Bush." I gave him a look that said "do you know where we fucking are" and "I don't want to be beaten to death with organic Birkenstock's." Well Peter wanted me to snort some cocaine off a urinal about 20 minutes earlier so I could see where he was coming from. This is the same man who has told me his undergraduate minor at Georgia Tech was agriculture so he could grow better pot. He has shown me the plants, they are impressive.

So, if you really want to know how totally fucked up your professors are, get the Ph.D. They will totally surprise you, not only that they can actually live in society, that they aren't dead yet. Peter is only one of my three member thesis committee.